Friday, April 22, 2011

Battle of Bridesmaids - part 2

Since Battle of the Bridesmaids is next week here in Springfield, the Power 96.5 Morning Buzz duo Fotsch and McClain asked me in to share a few tidbits of what is expected of the Bridesmaids and the Maid of Honor (MOH), and also the Groomsmen and Best Man. We also talked about some of the things to consider by the Bride and Groom when they choose their attendants.  Here is an overview of what we covered.

Who to Choose as Your Maid of Honor (MOH), Bridesmaids, Groomsmen and Best Man??

Brides and Grooms, there are a few things you need to consider before you ask anyone to be your attendant.

1.  Before you ask, make sure you have decided where the ceremony will take place.  If you have a small venue then 6 Bridesmaids, 6 Groomsmen plus MOH and Best Man may not fit at the altar.  You don't want to have to rescind your offer.

2.  How many attendants does your partner want?  Although it doesn't have to be exactly the same on each side you don't want it too lopsided either.

3.  Who is closest to you?  You can have a friend for 15 years, but haven't been close over the past few the next question is who can support you the best? they have the time and energy to help? ...who can afford the various expenses such as a hotel stay, makeup and hair, dress or suit, the shower and bachelor/bachelorette party, etc?  It is a tremendous honor to be asked to be in some one's wedding, but it does come with a price tag as well.

4.  Who is expecting to be asked, whether you want to ask them or not?  Family dynamics and trying to avoid hurt feelings can play in your decision.  This IS your wedding after all, however, hurt feelings among family members do have to be weighed.  Remember there are plenty of "jobs", very important roles that still need to be assigned... guest book attendant, gift table attendant, a greeter to welcome guests, candle lighter or a reader during the ceremony.

If someone is predictably not responsible nor organized (chronic procrastinator) take this into consideration in your planning.  Your friends will not magically change just because it's your wedding...remembering this will help keep you from being too stressed as the day grows closer.

Be a gracious Bride and thoughtful Groom and do your best to think of your attendants' needs and wishes, their lifestyle, financial situation and family obligations and so on.  Be understanding of limitations.  If there is some aspect of their role that they can't handle, they should tell you right away and realize they may have to pass, but they can still be involved taking on a role with less responsibility - time-wise and financially.

Once You Choose

Some people have no idea what to do or what their "job" responsibilities or financial obligations will be when you first ask them to be in your wedding party.

#1 rule - Make your expectations clear from the beginning.  NOT a list of demands, but share what you are hoping they can do.  Make sure everyone understands and is on the same page. 

Have a clear conversation about what is expected from them (I'll need you to go shopping with me to pick out the attendant dresses, you'll need to pay for your dress, help MOH throw a coed shower,and help make programs) and what to expect of you (I'll keep you updated every other week by e-mail and I'm willing to pay for your shoes).  Once they know what is expected they can make an informed decision on whether they can handle those expectations. 

Don't be insulted if they would rather have a role with less responsibility... they don't want to disappoint you and most people do know their own limitations. 


Their main purpose is to offer the Bride any support she needs and help the MOH.
  • Help Bride with pre-wedding tasks.
  • Help pay for and organize the Shower and Bachelorette Party with the MOH.
  • Help pick out dress style, get fitted, order an pay for dresses on schedule.
  • Be at meetings, work events, parties and rehearsal as requested.


Their main purpose is to offer the Groom any support he needs and help the Best Man.
  • Help groom with pre-wedding tasks or planning honeymoon.
  • Help plan and pay for Bachelor Party with the Best Man.
  • Get measured, order, pay for and pick up suits on schedule.
  • Be at meetings, parties and rehearsal as requested.


This is the Bride's assistant (her right hand gal).  Should have smooth social skills and lots of energy.  Role is to give feedback and suggest options, support and reassure the Bride, assist with decisions and keep the Bride CALM on the wedding day.
  • Coordinate all the Bridesmaids.  Stay in touch with them and keep them .  Make sure they know their "job" and will be at fittings and get dresses ordered on time.
  • Consult with Bride about guest list for planning her shower and Bachelorette party.
  • Help Bride get dressed on Wedding Day.
  • Keep groom's ring and sign marriage license.
  • Second to toast Bride and her Groom at reception.


This is the Groom's right hand man. Role is similar as MOH...assist with decisions, help plan the honeymoon, and keep the Groom CALM on the Wedding Day.
  • Coordinate all the Groomsmen/Ushers.  Make sure they know their "job" and that they will be where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be.
  • Consult with Groom about guest list for Bachelor Party.
  • Help Groom get ready (tie his tie).
  • Keep Bride's ring and sign marriage license.
  • First to toast Bride and Groom at reception.
  • Transport wedding gifts to Bride & Groom's home when evening is over.
  • Return all suits/shoes to rental shop the next business day. 
To clarify the MOH and Best Man roles in more detail, check out the books I suggested in the first part of this two part post.

A Wedding Consultant/Planner can help with etiquette, resources and ideas and can help keep your day stress-free by making sure all of your plans fall into place the day of your Wedding.

Members of the Association of Bridal Consultants abide by a Code of Ethics and typically offer a complimentary consultation.... if you want to know more feel free to visit my website to contact me.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Radio Spot...Battle of the Bridesmaids

I'll be airing tomorrow morning on Power96.5.  I'll be talking about the duties of the Maid of Honor (MOH), Bridesmaids, Best Man and Groomsmen and the roles they play as attendants.

A couple good books for the MOH and Best Man are listed here.

I've also included two books that cover the Main characters of a wedding...Bride and Groom. 

Even on a tight budget, Amazondotcom offers used books in excellent shape starting at a single penny (plus shipping of $3.99), a HUGE savings over new.

After the show I'll write a synopsis of what was covered and share some highlights here.  Be back soon!!!   ;)

Make sure to check out my website...still under construction.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

ABC Heartland Regional tele-conference call #2

Stephanie Pence was the speaker on tonight's call.  She went over the benefits and importance of Brides and Grooms taking out wedding insurance.  Of course it does not cover cancellations because the couple changed their minds, but it does cover situations where sudden illness of the bridal couple or their parents cause them to cancel or postpone the event.  Also acts of God are covered if a snowstorm or hurricane prevents them from getting to where they need to be or even the venue being covers non-recoverable expenses...such as deposits, etc.  It also provides liability coverage, which some vendors and venues require the clients to provide coverage.

Basic coverage up to $7500 runs about $160 and there are higher levels of coverage available.  As with all insurance, good to have coverage that we hope we will never need to use.  If you presently have an insurance agent you can contact them to see if they offer this type of coverage, otherwise, you can contact Stephanie at Shifman Remley Associates out of Mission, Kansas for more information.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

wwwdotcom update

The website is up and running, however, is still under construction as I work on copy for the pages.  I'm down to 2 different sites, but really like this site design the best.  Feel free to check it out and tell me what you think of it so far.  Thanks!!!!    ;)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

From Novice to Professional Bridal Consultant (TM)

Member, Association of Bridal Consultants
 Thought I better back-track a bit...

I finished my Penn Foster Bridal Consultant course in December 2010...I passed with 100% on ALL assignments and the final test!!!  So I received my diploma and have just upgraded from the Novice memberhsip to Consultant level and received the Professional Bridal Consultant (TM) title from the Association of Bridal Consultants (ABC).  I'm so excited.

I've looked through the training schedule and there is a New Horizons workshop in June or July that I want to attend.  Will be quite a drive, but I need to get the training.  In order to renew membership each year, a Consultant has to obtain at least 6 CEU so, I want to get started.  There is a Regional workshop in Kansas City later this month, however, finances are a bit tight so not sure if I will be attending or not, but there will be more opportunities down the road.   ;)  Registration is still open and available for ABC members and non-members...check it out online if you are a wedding planner or wedding vendor.

Currently I am doing vendor research and preparing some information for the Battle of the Bridesmaid competition coming up in April/May, I believe, hosted by Power 96.5 with Fotsch and McClain.  Really looking forward to that.... they are always a hoot!!!

Heartland Regional tele-conference

Joined in for the first time on the ABC Heartland Region tele-conference call last night (Tuesday, 3/08/2011).  It was a question and answer session to share ideas with our counterparts in other areas of our region.  Some of the questions pertained to invoicing and database programs, internet advertising on popular social network pages, what kind of promotional giveaways are other consultants using, how many clients are handled on a monthly basis, and do you give your clients-to-be a deadline to sign a contract with you.

I felt it was very beneficial to be able to ask seasoned Consultants what they do, as well as the different ideas and opinions from various areas.  They also mentioned the ABC/Heartland Regional workshop that is happening later this month in Kansas City.  I would so love to go, but will probably have to miss this one.

I've marked my calendar for April's tele-conference call already and am looking forward to networking and learning more!!!