Battle of Bridesmaids - part 2

Since Battle of the Bridesmaids is next week here in Springfield, the Power 96.5 Morning Buzz duo Fotsch and McClain asked me in to share a few tidbits of what is expected of the Bridesmaids and the Maid of Honor (MOH), and also the Groomsmen and Best Man. We also talked about some of the things to consider by the Bride and Groom when they choose their attendants.  Here is an overview of what we covered.




Who to Choose as Your Maid of Honor (MOH), Bridesmaids, Groomsmen and Best Man??

Brides and Grooms, there are a few things you need to consider before you ask anyone to be your attendant.

1.  Before you ask, make sure you have decided where the ceremony will take place.  If you have a small venue then 6 Bridesmaids, 6 Groomsmen plus MOH and Best Man may not fit at the altar.  You don't want to have to rescind your offer.

2.  How many attendants does your partner want?  Although it doesn't have to be exactly the same on each side you don't want it too lopsided either.

3.  Who is closest to you?  You can have a friend for 15 years, but haven't been close over the past few years....so the next question is who can support you the best?...do they have the time and energy to help? ...who can afford the various expenses such as a hotel stay, makeup and hair, dress or suit, the shower and bachelor/bachelorette party, etc?  It is a tremendous honor to be asked to be in some one's wedding, but it does come with a price tag as well.

4.  Who is expecting to be asked, whether you want to ask them or not?  Family dynamics and trying to avoid hurt feelings can play in your decision.  This IS your wedding after all, however, hurt feelings among family members do have to be weighed.  Remember there are plenty of "jobs", very important roles that still need to be assigned... guest book attendant, gift table attendant, a greeter to welcome guests, candle lighter or a reader during the ceremony.

If someone is predictably not responsible nor organized (chronic procrastinator) take this into consideration in your planning.  Your friends will not magically change just because it's your wedding...remembering this will help keep you from being too stressed as the day grows closer.

Be a gracious Bride and thoughtful Groom and do your best to think of your attendants' needs and wishes, their lifestyle, financial situation and family obligations and so on.  Be understanding of limitations.  If there is some aspect of their role that they can't handle, they should tell you right away and realize they may have to pass, but they can still be involved taking on a role with less responsibility - time-wise and financially.


Once You Choose

Some people have no idea what to do or what their "job" responsibilities or financial obligations will be when you first ask them to be in your wedding party.

#1 rule - Make your expectations clear from the beginning.  NOT a list of demands, but share what you are hoping they can do.  Make sure everyone understands and is on the same page. 

Have a clear conversation about what is expected from them (I'll need you to go shopping with me to pick out the attendant dresses, you'll need to pay for your dress, help MOH throw a coed shower,and help make programs) and what to expect of you (I'll keep you updated every other week by e-mail and I'm willing to pay for your shoes).  Once they know what is expected they can make an informed decision on whether they can handle those expectations. 

Don't be insulted if they would rather have a role with less responsibility... they don't want to disappoint you and most people do know their own limitations. 

BRIDESMAIDS ROLE:

Their main purpose is to offer the Bride any support she needs and help the MOH.

• Help Bride with pre-wedding tasks.
• Help pay for and organize the Shower and Bachelorette Party with the MOH.
• Help pick out dress style, get fitted, order an pay for dresses on schedule.
• Be at meetings, work events, parties and rehearsal as requested.

GROOMSMEN and/or USHERS:

Their main purpose is to offer the Groom any support he needs and help the Best Man.

• Help groom with pre-wedding tasks or planning honeymoon.
• Help plan and pay for Bachelor Party with the Best Man.
• Get measured, order, pay for and pick up suits on schedule.
• Be at meetings, parties and rehearsal as requested.

MAID or MATRON OF HONOR:

This is the Bride's assistant (her right hand gal).  Should have smooth social skills and lots of energy.  Role is to give feedback and suggest options, support and reassure the Bride, assist with decisions and keep the Bride CALM on the wedding day.

• Coordinate all the Bridesmaids.  Stay in touch with them and keep them .  Make sure they know their "job" and will be at fittings and get dresses ordered on time.
• Consult with Bride about guest list for planning her shower and Bachelorette party.
• Help Bride get dressed on Wedding Day.
• Keep groom's ring and sign marriage license.
• Second to toast Bride and her Groom at reception.

BEST MAN:

This is the Groom's right hand man. Role is similar as MOH...assist with decisions, help plan the honeymoon, and keep the Groom CALM on the Wedding Day.

• Coordinate all the Groomsmen/Ushers.  Make sure they know their "job" and that they will be where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be.
• Consult with Groom about guest list for Bachelor Party.
• Help Groom get ready (tie his tie).
• Keep Bride's ring and sign marriage license.
• First to toast Bride and Groom at reception.
• Transport wedding gifts to Bride & Groom's home when evening is over.
• Return all suits/shoes to rental shop the next business day. 

To clarify the MOH and Best Man roles in more detail, check out the books I suggested in the first part of this two part post.

A Wedding Consultant/Planner can help with etiquette, resources and ideas and can help keep your day stress-free by making sure all of your plans fall into place the day of your Wedding.

Members of the Association of Bridal Consultants abide by a Code of Ethics and typically offer a complimentary consultation.... if you want to know more feel free to visit my website http://www.rsvp-event-planning-by-kathy.com/ to contact me.

Radio Spot...Battle of the Bridesmaids

I'll be airing tomorrow morning on Power96.5.  I'll be talking about the duties of the Maid of Honor (MOH), Bridesmaids, Best Man and Groomsmen and the roles they play as attendants.

A couple good books for the MOH and Best Man are listed here.

I've also included two books that cover the Main characters of a wedding...Bride and Groom. 

Even on a tight budget, Amazondotcom offers used books in excellent shape starting at a single penny (plus shipping of $3.99), a HUGE savings over new.

After the show I'll write a synopsis of what was covered and share some highlights here.  Be back soon!!!   ;)

Make sure to check out my website...still under construction.  http://www.rsvp-event-planning-by-kathy.com/

ABC Heartland Regional tele-conference call #2

Stephanie Pence was the speaker on tonight's call.  She went over the benefits and importance of Brides and Grooms taking out wedding insurance.  Of course it does not cover cancellations because the couple changed their minds, but it does cover situations where sudden illness of the bridal couple or their parents cause them to cancel or postpone the event.  Also acts of God are covered if a snowstorm or hurricane prevents them from getting to where they need to be or even the venue being operational....it covers non-recoverable expenses...such as deposits, etc.  It also provides liability coverage, which some vendors and venues require the clients to provide coverage.

Basic coverage up to $7500 runs about $160 and there are higher levels of coverage available.  As with all insurance, good to have coverage that we hope we will never need to use.  If you presently have an insurance agent you can contact them to see if they offer this type of coverage, otherwise, you can contact Stephanie at Shifman Remley Associates out of Mission, Kansas for more information.

wwwdotcom update

The website is up and running, however, is still under construction as I work on copy for the pages.  I'm down to 2 different sites, but really like this site design the best.  Feel free to check it out and tell me what you think of it so far.  Thanks!!!!    ;)

http://www.rsvp-event-planning-by-kathy.com/

From Novice to Professional Bridal Consultant (TM)



Member, Association of Bridal Consultants

 Thought I better back-track a bit...

I finished my Penn Foster Bridal Consultant course in December 2010...I passed with 100% on ALL assignments and the final test!!!  So I received my diploma and have just upgraded from the Novice memberhsip to Consultant level and received the Professional Bridal Consultant (TM) title from the Association of Bridal Consultants (ABC).  I'm so excited.

I've looked through the training schedule and there is a New Horizons workshop in June or July that I want to attend.  Will be quite a drive, but I need to get the training.  In order to renew membership each year, a Consultant has to obtain at least 6 CEU so, I want to get started.  There is a Regional workshop in Kansas City later this month, however, finances are a bit tight so not sure if I will be attending or not, but there will be more opportunities down the road.   ;)  Registration is still open and available for ABC members and non-members...check it out online if you are a wedding planner or wedding vendor.  www.bridalassn.com/TakeASeminarA.aspx

Currently I am doing vendor research and preparing some information for the Battle of the Bridesmaid competition coming up in April/May, I believe, hosted by Power 96.5 with Fotsch and McClain.  Really looking forward to that.... they are always a hoot!!!

Heartland Regional tele-conference

Joined in for the first time on the ABC Heartland Region tele-conference call last night (Tuesday, 3/08/2011).  It was a question and answer session to share ideas with our counterparts in other areas of our region.  Some of the questions pertained to invoicing and database programs, internet advertising on popular social network pages, what kind of promotional giveaways are other consultants using, how many clients are handled on a monthly basis, and do you give your clients-to-be a deadline to sign a contract with you.

I felt it was very beneficial to be able to ask seasoned Consultants what they do, as well as the different ideas and opinions from various areas.  They also mentioned the ABC/Heartland Regional workshop that is happening later this month in Kansas City.  I would so love to go, but will probably have to miss this one.

I've marked my calendar for April's tele-conference call already and am looking forward to networking and learning more!!!

RSVP Event Planning by Kathy

RSVP Event Planning by Kathy

Springfield MO 2010 Jingle Bail: Kathy Nolder

Springfield MO 2010 Jingle Bail: Kathy Nolder . I am going to JAIL 12/09/2010 and YOU can HELP BAIL ME OUT!! MDA is sponsoring their 3rd annual Lock-Up and someone(wait until I find out!!) turned me in for having a "big heart." Thank you for checking out the webpage. Kathy

Radio Spot.....Take Two

11/17/2010 - Extremely excited when I received a second request from Fotsch and McClain to "appear" on a local radio station (Power 96.5) to discuss Thank You note etiquette and after-wedding information later this week!!!!   http://www.power965.com/

11/19/2010 - Once again, I groggily shut off my alarm clock at 5:00 a.m. so I could be at the radio station by 7:00 a.m.  Fotsch had married in September and was asking when Thank You notes should be mailed out, since theirs were not sent out at the time of the broadcast (right before Thanksgiving).  He was betting his new wife she should already have them out, and so we talked about an appropriate amount of time as well as the fact that HE should also feel free to help her write the notes.  He said, he had written... three...and did that count as doing his share.  LOLOLOL!  I told him, no that wasn't enough!!! 

Some after-wedding reminders shared included having the wedding dress cleaned and making sure names are changed and new information has been given to insurance companies, doctors, social security, etc.    We also mentioned that sometimes post wedding blues can be a problem.  After all that focus on "the bride and her day" and all the shopping and doing fun exciting things in preparation, that now it's over some women (more than men) feel a bit disappointed or down, which is a natural feeling.  We did determine that Fotsch was NOT suffering from post-wedding blues.   ;)

One last thing we talked about was the fact that many couples get engaged at Christmas time and they should be thinking about hiring a consultant.  It isn't just for large budget brides and even a DIY bride could use the services of an exceptional consultant to help keep her on track.  I was able to put a plug in for my business, as well as mention there are several other great wedding consultant/planners in Springfield, MO.   :)

McClain asked if it would be appropriate for her to have a wedding reception even if she wasn't getting married; buy a fancy dress, invite a bunch of friends and have them bring her gifts..... isn't that a birthday party???!!!


Fotsch and McClain are such a hoot!  It was such a fun show to do, and I appreciate them thinking of me.  I look forward to being on their show again next year.

SHOW ME the Bridal Shows....

Went to Joplin this past weekend to check out the MetBride Show there.  It was a bit smaller than anticipated, but was able to come away with a few ideas and information.  This weekend I am headed to Overland Park to check out the Perfect Wedding Guide show....they are advertising over 250 booths...WOW!!!
http://kansas-city.perfectweddingguide.com/events/bridal-shows/8208/

Even though I can't take pictures I should be able to come across some ideas I can use in the future as well as obtaining some valuable information.  Next weekend it's the "All About Weddings" show in Springfield, MO.  Looking forward to being able to talk with local vendors and other local consultants.

 http://www.allaboutweddingsmissouri.com/weddingshows

Networking is soooo important in making those all important working relationships.   ;)

it's in the mail.....

I spoke with Membership Services at ABC (Association of Bridal Consultants) Friday and was told my Novice trial membership packet was in the mail to me!!!!  My free membership is for 6 months!!  Originally it was for only 3 months, but thanks to some changes I now will receive 6 months... Woohooo!

I also will have ALL the same benefits as a paid membership, except being at the Novice level I
I won't receive referrals of brides from ABC and I cannot use the ABC logo on my website, business cards or any literature (although I can use the words, a proud member of ABC).  Once I advance to Consultant level both restrictions will be lifted.  In the meantime I can search out internships with other consultants to earn experience and take full advantage of my trial membership.  I am THRILLED and hoping the packet will arrive soon.

on the radio..... ohhhhh, on the radio...

I was soooo nervous and excited Thursday morning (9/2/2010) as I arrived at the radio station.  I had received a call after I had written one of the DJs about a caller's comment on the show, and was asked to come in and help answer his upcoming wedding questions and share with listeners various wedding etiquette "rules."

I was there 7-8 AM and during intermittent breaks we talked about topics such as, Is it okay not to invite children to your wedding/reception?, How much should I spend on a wedding gift for the couple?, What is appropriate attire for guests attending a wedding?, and wedding no-nos like, Guests, Turn OFF your cell phones during the ceremony...do not text, do not take pictures!, Guests, please ask the Photographers if you can piggyback off their photo shoot before you snap pictures!, and Whomever is listed on the invitation envelope is invited...it's not okay to invite other people (children or dates) and write them in on your RSVP. 

I had so much information that I wanted to share, but the breaks were only about 2-5 minutes in length...time flies... and the two DJs were sharing their comments as well, plus we had a few call-ins too.  I had a blast and am hoping I helped listeners be more aware.  I left a practical gift of Thank You notes and a Bride's Thank You handbook for the groom-to-be and his Lady.  (One MUST remember to write and mail-off those thank you notes for all the generous wedding gifts)!! 

 It was such an incredible opportunity/experience and my Thanks goes out to Fotsch and McClain's Morning Buzz, Power 96.5 here in Springfield, MO!!!!   www.facebook.com/fotsch.mcclain    www.power965.com

fine tuning...

Exciting things going on!  I've been looking at website designs and have spoken to a designer to check on pricing and ideas, etc.  Checking out a lot of event/wedding sites to see what I like and would like to incorporate on my page....have a few months before it will be up and running, but am enjoying "window shopping" to assist in the creation.  Designer is also working on a business logo for me, am excited to see what they come up with.

I only have 3 lessons left to my bridal consultant course with Penn Foster before I receive my diploma, but I have like 10 more months to complete it.  I am slowing down on the educational side and gearing up on the many details of starting a business.  Things that need to be in place before I can go any further.  Also, waiting to hear from ABC regarding my Novice level membership and to see what options I may have as far as serving an internship with area consultants to gain more hands-on experience.

The "big picture" can only happen with fine tuning of the details, details...    ;)

best made plans...

so...I was supposed to head out to a Bridal Show this weekend in Fayetteville when I received a phone call from the Event Coordinator and told it was re-scheduled for October 10th instead.  No big deal, typically, but I have already booked a hotel room at the venue through Priceline (name your own price)....so no refunds.  I have a call in and am hoping the hotel will make an exception and transfer my reservation to that weekend in October since the Bridal Show at their facility was the entire reason for my trip.  Keeping fingers crossed.

Kiss the Brides Expo from Tisha Kemp on Vimeo.

It just goes to prove that just when you think you have it all covered, circumstances beyond your control teach you otherwise. You just gotta laugh!    ;)

8/26/2010   YEAH!!!!  The hotel will work with me and transfer my reservation to the October date!!

technology...technology... I hear the song....

So, am trying to get the hang of blogging, Twittering, setting up business Facebook page and getting a custom domain name for a website that I'd like to design for RSVP Event Planning by Kathy, however it's a bit more involved than it looks.   ;)   I have things started, but finding out more exact info, for someone that hasn't kept up with ALL the details of social networking, is challenging to find.  However, I shall prevail and by next week all should be in place and I will be well-educated in "Face-Blog-Ittering-Design!"

pictures....

Finally d/l pics from Sunday....awesome room and view!!  I was in a room on the 5th floor and just left of the entrance so I was overlooking the dam area, saw mountains AND lake.

entrance to main lobby

comfy!!

the dam, which was part of my view

 night view from my balcony

ABC Heartland Meeting

Just returned from training this weekend at Chateau on the Lake, Branson, MO.  Met some great Event and Wedding Planners and received good ideas and tips.  I am currently Taking the Bridal Consultant course through Penn Foster, which includes a 3-month Novice level membership to Association of Bridal Consultants (ABC).  I should complete the course before the holidays and very excited that I am pursuing a dream.

At the meeting we became Certified Sandals Specialists and I definitely will be promoting this partnership with clients.  Honeymoons should be just as memorable as the wedding.   And I found out that Sandals (for couples only) and Beaches (for everyone, including kids) have special promotions and are luxury resorts affordable for all.    ;)   This Penny-Pinching Planner creating Party Pizzazz loves a fantastic value!!